Mailman chugs wine, mouthwash, sets lofty goals.

newmanGreetings from Florida! As we have already established on this blog, the state of Florida is a land of alligator killing, hide-your-cocaine-in-your-anus go-getters! Well, let’s keep going on that streak.

A mailman in Boynton Beach, Florida was arrested recently. Turns out he was a little tipsy. As in blowing a .264 tipsy. Like most mail carriers, he had spent the previous night chugging wine under a full moon. But you know mail carriers with their folksy wisdom – pound a helping of mouthwash after a night of drinking and you’ll be delivering letters like gangbusters in no time!  

Crocilla told police he went to work at 11 a.m. and bought mouthwash at a drugstore to mask the smell of alcohol. He said he had drank wine all night and then drank half a bottle of mouthwash to cover it up.

After being found slumped over his steering wheel by police, Postman Crocilla was questioned by police, during which he divulged his ultimate aspiration, one shared by most mail carriers: to deliver mail to everyone in America. Once he realized his mistake, he wisely pretended to be asleep to avoid further questioning about his master plan:

He stated he was delivering one piece of mail to each person,” Slater said. “He fell asleep during the conversation.”
 

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