Breaking news from The Onion real life

By jeff | Published: November 4, 2009

Man Stabbed Self to Keep Job

NOVEMBER 3–Meet Aaron Siebers. The 27-year-old Denver man, a Blockbuster employee, was skateboarding yesterday afternoon when he fell and ripped his uniform pants. Due to work last night–and concerned about getting “written up” by Blockbuster superiors for not wearing his work-issued khakis–Siebers came up with a harebrained idea.

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